zenov is B+ Boy

As mentioned in the previous post, I was to go lunch with my family for my 2nd sis’ birthday. The venue was Sheraton Hotel.

I must say the hotel, despite its very resounding reputation, is very much lacking in upkeep. The toilet stinks, is dirty and the furniture is old and dated (wood is full of scratches and does not conform to body ergonomics). But oh well… Did I mention I found a mid-size ant in the fried rice?

The cooked food was ok. The only thing nice was it tomato prawn, which was chewy. The fish was too chewy. In fact, it was a challenge to swallow the thing. The grilled prawns had a layer of shell, and a layer of hard skin under the shell. The problem, well, overcooking, like the fish. Most other stuff was bland. oh… too bad…

But I liked the dessert, though. It was not a wide spread, but most of it was ok. The chocolate-made desserts were rich enough. But I became full before I could have 3 3rd round of desserts. I guess the rich chocolate was too much for me to take…

As it turned out, I was dining at the venue of SIA cabin crew interview! haha… I didn’t link the 2 together until like my sis pointed out that those lines of people upstairs seem to be attending interviews lol And guess what? Medan made it to the 2nd round, which I think is very good already.

If she gets to final round, I must say she’s TERRIFIC! Wait till SIA finds out about her transforming ability!!

After lunch, we decided to go try our luck at the Singapore Flyer. News reports were saying the rides were almost booked for 2 months, but we went ahead still.

Alas! Alas!

There was literally NO ONE taking the SG Flyer. Is it cos it was a Sunday, an afternoon or what?

So we went onto the flight without queuing at all. And of cos, I took about 80 pix while on board.

Weather was not good, so I couldn’t see Indon nor Malaysia. Not that they were nice to look at, but I wanted to know how far I can see. But the immediate surroundings were fascinating enough. The IR and F1 race-track under construction, the golf course, river, bridges, barrage and skyline.

Nice ~

My favest pic. Thought it looked nice and majestic lol

This pic has almost everything good: The CBD Skyline, IR, Singapore River, Sheares Bridge and of cos the Flyer

Lazy to edit and load all the pix up, but I uploaded them to my Multiply site (very long never use le!). See link below.

- - + Family Sheraton Lunch & SG Flyer Flight

I lost a lot of blood today…

Went for driving early in the morning. Was constantly scolded cos I was making mistakes like I was producing muffins at high capacity. Went back school, passed by Blk EA, where there was a set up for blood donation drive.

So I signed up.

Yes, this was my first time.

Previously, after I signed up with the Red Cross at Arts, I will always end up with a cough on the day of donation. I think my mind is subconsciously refusing to lose blood.

So when I saw the drive, I thought, might as well. I won’t have cough in 15 min right?

I did donate…

To prove that that was MY HAND

I hope my blood is useful lah. No hidden diseases or what.

Anyways, my Hb level is about 13.5; there was never a check where my Hb level is above 14. Any guys out there like me? I mean, yes, I’m still in the healthy range, but I’m always in the lower end of the healthy range. It’s like no wonder ask me to run will make me feel so chiat lat.

And speaking of running, I can’t run tonight le… haha…

Oh, actually during the donation, I went giddy. So paiseh. They had to tend to me to make sure I don’t pass out… ha… Then another guy also kena. Medan, who was also there pretending to donate blood, said that guy is skinny, so no wonder. But me…?

I was like: hey, I’m fat, but that doesn’t mean I’m swarming with blood mah. Maybe my blood is oily leh? My body is scared of losing all the fats it accumulated over the years…

haha…

Whatever.

Another cork up was from my fast-clotting blood. They had to take some blood after the transfer, directly from that tube. Dunno why, my blood clotted before they could let the blood drain out. So how? Poor me had to have blood drawn from the other hand!! boohoo!!! 2 holes in my arm… Dunno if I will ever do it again…

lol

If you who are reading this is in school, please detour to Blk EA to donate your blood. They’ll be opened till 4pm.

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The effect of lower blood volume is showing vividly on me. Just a simple task of walking to the printer to fetch my print job got my heart racing. Ok, I must admit I was also agitated, cos I neeeded to quickly complete some stuff for the FYP meeting taking place in 30min. AND THEN, allow me to add in that the meeting was canceled and I wasn’t informed.

But then, along the way to the meeting lab, I was lugging my laptop with me. And I felt fatigue very quickly. Not feeling sore or weak, just that my muscle ached quickly. I was so afraid my poor lappy would drop suddenly… lol

And not to add the overall fatigue plus heavy breathing. wa… Machiam like on mountain… not enough oxygen.

I just hope that my sacrifice and little discomfort will be worth it.

haha… i removed my bandage and found i have 2 wounds. One was the puncture, one was the rupture. I think I bent my hand when the needle is still inside, causing the needle to poke from beneath. I remembered the nurse as saying my needle was crooked already. oh well… I will get well.

Went for my 1st permanent job interview. Despite the time restraints and uncertainty, I still forked out enough time to make superficial preparations like making copies of my credentials. haha… I even had to go back Punggol to pick up my originals ok?

My interview is at Chartered Semiconductor Manufacturing, which is at a part of Woodlands/Kranji/Marsiling more ulu than Punggol. While I took a cab in (I was late), the walk out was… 15 minutes. But the facility was large, considering the scale of the company in the world bah.

The ‘entry’ to ‘Ulu’ Industrial Park. 

I had to register myself at this corner in the lobby, where my picture was also taken and printed onto a sticker as my ‘visitor pass’. Thing is, I am not used to taking pictures using webcams, so I ended up with a bad pic! ah… The security took the sticker back before I left, so I can’t have anything to show.

The questions they asked were standard, though I didn’t prepare them beforehand. But those were the questions which I wouldn’t even prepare well beforehand. Stuff like ‘why choose here?’, ‘why semiconductor’ are silly questions. It’s just like gals asking their bf ‘why love me?’.

I also felt SUPER awkward regurgitating everything I saw on their website (or whatever I remember of). I also felt stupid recounting the different ways to lithography (thank goodness I was working on the project this morning), cos well, they are the EXPERTS. I know, it’s a way of testing how well and how passionate I am about the topic. But I have no experience of flaunting my knowledge of in front of people who knows more than me.

But still, while continuing my project just now, I found out that there was a major fact that I got wrong. Oh man! But even without that blip, I still didn’t think I could make it.

I mean, the scenario tests they posed to me were killing me. With no facts, I had to crap my way through. They were testing me, I know. But I wonder if they were testing my reflexes or how good my solutions can be.

The facility was behind the stretch of buildings, a road across. Yup, no public transport from where I took the photo to the facility… 

There was also the question of whistleblowing which I was praying hard they would not ask. For immoral people like me, I was dying to reply, “Who cares? Just as long as it doesn’t cost my job.”. But no. I went through some politically-correct answers, like: I will whistle blow if the company’s reputation and integrity is at stake. Else, I would drag the boss to a corner, voice my concerns and ask that the matter be detracted, or referred to another person more worthy of the work.

oh ya, speaking of corners , they were asking me how I handle difficult colleagues, especially colleagues who are aggressive. It was then I brought up my theory of bringing people to a secluded corner to have a nice talk to iron things out. It ended up that for a lot of scenarios, I will drag that person to the corner to talk.

oh ya… that’s all for the interview. I think if I am accepted, the only reason that will keep me from taking the job is… well… the location. I took 1 hour to get to city wor (not including the 15-min walk to civilization)! This will just mean I will begin to loiter around Woodlands after work to chill out and relax and get detached from the rest of the world. ha… ya… I really didn’t mind the work days which will sacrifice one weekend, or the late hours. Which job doesn’t have its sacrifices? Just hand me the cash and I’ll work like a cow!

Sorry, but my BIG RED HEAD just keeps blocking that signage… 

Then, I went down to Suntec tomeet giam and carrotlet to go to the job fair. haha… Turned out the job fair was targeted more at people with experience, and people without degrees. So we just lingered around. And just before we stepped out of the place, giam started talking to a police officer. Or rather, he started talking away about his life as a police. haha… giam was obviously interested! For me, well… government jobs are a no-no. Uniformed/disciplined jobs are bleah! Police? I’m not that upright a person lol

Today, I too lazy to write a conclusion. So… SAYONARA! It’s House Time!!

Just now, yes, JUST now, I was on the bus returning to PGP with giam. It so happened that I asked her if she was afraid of xiao qiang. She replied No, and I stopped to think for a while.

Then I put on my best, most innocent expression and said:

我知道你为什么不怕小强！因为小强是蟑螂，你是人狼，你们都姓《朗》！

She didn’t slap me this time.

She punched me. You know, 连环拳.

What was wrong with that comment??

Back again, locked out of the lab. Yup, it’s undergoing maintenance till 2pm today. Ironic, cos I came 1 hour earlier than usual to start on my work.

Oh well… I took the time to catch one episode of House.  Then, after this post, I’ll scoot off for my driving lesson.

Well, I was rather depressed yesterday. All the work and undone work. But it was mainly cos of the work, which gave me time to think at the back of my mind while my fingers did the clicking and the typing.

Was talking to Medan about finding jobs. I was telling her I have to find big companies, cos I was afraid small ones couldn’t take my jinxed life.

You see, my kindergarten closed down some 6 years after I left it. My primary school, it closed down when I was in Primary 2. RV was a normal secondary school for 40 odd years, until I went and left for a few years, it’s now an IP school. At least it retains its name, unlike HC; I don’t even know if I should put HCJC in my resume or HCI. My 1st army unit closed down 1 year after I left. Yup, 1 SIR, my 2nd unit, may be the ‘best infantry’ and all, but so were RV and HC. ha…

Well, something did happen to explain all the melancholy. During the past CNY, my uncle visited us. And while chatting with him, my mum brought up the matter 3 years ago. I thought I left it behind, but now the matter clings on to me after she mentioned it. And especially at this point of time, when unemployment is staring right into my face, the grudge and resentment that I felt years back is creeping back.

She defended her decision by saying she was worried for me. My sis chipped in to say I was of no use at all to study overseas. Up till now, they didn’t come to realize how great a blow they had dealt me with, with that decision. Selfish, unfounded decisions. My uncle was replying that if going overseas to study is good, it has to be done somehow. Last year, at a relative’s wedding, the groom’s mother was saying she felt good that she allowed her son to pursue his dreams, despite all her worries.

Why is it that no one supported my dreams?

After all these years, I feel so tired fighting for my own dreams. I may have grown up in a poor family, but there are many other families poorer than mine who would do everything for their children to succeed. My family has never supported me in any way. People had enrichment lessons. People had tuitions. People had parents who would stand up and push them for success.

Which was why I feel so lonely, so tired, after fighting a lone war for nearly 20 years. Which was why KF observed that I’m always giving up before I attain my goals.

Because no one understands the feeling of going through tough times all by myself.

I feel so tired.

I hate the world.

The feng shui terminal is soft-locked again. This time by an Indian gal who was using it yesterday (and has not appeared since I stepped into the lab at 10am). Her username is e49138u, meaning her email is u0409138. Go spam her email now for her inconsiderate act!!!

Just felt like rambling

Yesterday, received e-mail wrt my project (another module. I have 6 modules, remember?). The guy was like saying, in the meantime, let’s think of what new device we could discuss on. Basically, the project is split into talking about the technologies went through in the module and another more general part on how one of the technologies is applied. The lecturer mentioned, yes he only mentioned, that one of the good projects he saw talked about a new technology used in a new device. Which brought us to the statement by that project mate.

I wonder why NUS (I’m making a general statement here, cos my contacts have been mainly NUS-ians) students treat lecturers’ words like prophecies from Mohamed. And considering the herd instincts of such people, isn’t it just plain suicide to go along this line, since there will be tonnes of groups who will follow the lecturer’s comments religiously?

It’s one thing to evaluate the mindset of a teacher, and another to follow blindly. One good friend, an old friend in fact, was good in his studies because he always evaluated the situation given by how the teachers spoke. But he didn’t rely just on that. He also searched through past year papers, looked at the syllabus on the whole and decided on what topics would be out for the next exam.

He was almost always right. And in A Levels, I repeated his feat to scrape through my LEP paper.

But these NUS people are just relying on the lecturer’s words. Oh well… I used to give them the benefit of doubt and allowed them to ‘follow their beliefs’, but I always ended up with a B- and less for those modules. It just goes to show that I was right: too many people following the words of the lecturers and only those terribly good ones will survive. I must declare that I am definitely not those kind who can emerge winner in an intense competition.

I compete in niche fields.

Oh well…

giam deprived me of Dr House time last night, and made me think critically for the 1st time in donkey years. In fact, I was so overwhelmed at the amount of thinking and suffering from the withdrawals of House that I was throwing all the medical terms at her every now and then.

Medical history of childhood trauma, epileptic seizures, addiction, whatever.

I hope I wasn’t leading her into insanehood.

And speaking of Dr House, I am really into it. ahaha… I’m turning gay cos I’m loving Dr House le. Or perhaps I’m getting narcissistic cos he and I are almost one entity. Though I find him as detestable as myself, I also find him likeable cos of the resonance I found in him. oh… perhaps that’s why I managed to have friends despite my irritating personality.

For those who seeks better understanding of ME, do watch that. It’s a Knowing zenov Educational Drama.

Back to talking to giam, I think I must make a disclaimer to those who seek me as a crystal ball to knowing guys:

I’m almost always speaking up for the guys.

Don’t believe, ask xy. She almost threw water on me cos I kept siding someone else when she was talking to me and hoping I would sayang her and say, ya… he’s a pig.

Or rather, it’s the difficulty of understanding a gal’s psyche and to convince her of man’s psyche that made me choose the easier path of speaking up for the guys. Come on, I don’t need to think that much by putting myself in a guy’s shoes.

Anyways, I read yesterday that guys are more visual than gals when looking for a partner. Less than half the gal is fine with going dutch on the 1st date, while 80% of the guys expect to pay for all meals.

wow… Once again, I fall into minority again. I believe in dutching. First date, yes, out of courtesy would I pay for all. But hey, I’m looking for a partner, not a life-sucker. Especially if you have a job/qualifications, go feed yourself. This is the New World, I support feminism. Females should be independent.

Point made.

But last night’s talk made me wonder if I’m really that abnormal. Or perhaps I don’t think like guys of my age. I mean, to me, marriage is troublesome. Not the going through of ceremonies, but of the prospect of having kids and stuff like that. It will mean I will have more life-suckers depending on my meagre salary. It will mean a total loss of privacy (cos wives tend to treat desire for privacy as an excuse to fool around). Although I suck at controlling my spending, I don’t see the need to hand my money to a partner (unless she is a financial planner). In fact, I don’t trust women with money more than believing that Earth revolves around the sun.

Whatever.

If only gals would care less and guys would care more… But pigs will fly then. Not exactly a pretty sight.

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oh… adding on to the online garbage… and the real reason why I started this post. haha… forgetful mah…

Anyways, despite going through so many booths, spending so much time, only one company called me. *boohoo!!!* And it was HSBC Financial Planner. The saddest thing is, everybody knows financial planners, insurance agents call EVERYBODY on their lists. Which means technically, I’m still unwanted.

Had a haircut just now cos I couldn’t stand my lateral-growing hair. Went to It’s Hairy at Far East Plaza, since I read on the web that it was a good hair salon for cool street cuts (read: PUNK). haha…

I was quite apprehensive to step into the salon, cos the store front was adorned with pictures of people with atrocious hairstyles. African pleats, Mohawk etc… I was like: I want a good haircut, but I wasn’t sure whether I want a haircut good enough for Superstar auditions…

But well, I went ahead.

The salon wasn’t decked out like Chapter 2. It actually looked more like a HDB salon. The only thing unique about it was that I was sitting in front of a sink. By just turning my seat and lowering the back, my head was ready for its pre-cut wash.

The lady asked me to choose from the 3 books of haircuts-profiles. Oh well… They all looked nice, cool, with a lot that weren’t too loud, but I knew they won’t fit me. Those are haircuts on small, sharp Japanese faces. Not my kind of big, big, BIG heads. So I told her my expectations, that is to make my head look less lateral, and off she went.

The amount of detail she went through was seen through her meticulous job of cutting only a few strands (ok, not that exaggerating, but about what 2 fingers can hold) of hair a time. The only shaving that was done was at the part above my ears, the part hidden by the ears. She didn’t use the jaggard scissors to make my hair thin.

After everything, I put on my glasses and wondered if I looked like I had undergone chemotherapy. But perhaps it’s more of my genetic-balding than the lady’s skills lol

Ok, after all the suspense, here’s the result:

As usual, people around me didn’t feel the amount of money I paid was justified. ha… You know… I actually took tonnes of photos before I could pick out 4 that looked better than the rest.

I think a slimming regime will do me more justice than the most expensive haircuts in the world.

lol

Time to get back to working out!